Why Have You Got A Vagina on your Head Ms. Jeffreys?

'Today' host, Sylvia Jeffreys wore a headpiece during Derby Day 2014 that would make Joan Rivers rise from the grave and give us one last vagina joke. Her piece by Viktoria Novak had the vagina thing going on and even vajazzled with a jewel in the centre. Made me smile. Even better, made me think about my beautiful Joan. 

Kate Waterhouse | Balenciaga | Victoria Derby Day | Melbourne

SPOTTED: Columnist Kate Waterhouse

WHERE: Victoria Derby Day, Flemington Racecourse, Melbourne, Australia

WHAT SHE WORE: Balenciaga Resort 2014 peplum structure dress with Nerida Winter and Hardy vintage diamond lace beaded half veil and Alexander McQueen zhite floral appliqué clutch:

VERDICT: Total perfection. I love her black manicure. Magnifique.

Credit: Getty Images

Lara Bingle | Dion Lee | Victoria Derby Day | Melbourne

SPOTTED: Australian personality, Lara Bingle

WHERE: Victoria Derby Day, Flemington Racecourse, Melbourne, Australia

WHAT SHE WORE: Dion Lee Spring 2014 long-sleeve top with plunging neckline and matching asymmetric skirt and head piece.

VERDICT: I love Dion Lee, but I don't think the look is appropriate for the event. I have to say I dislike the weird head piece. I adore the make up, but the hair is underdone.

Credit: Getty Images

Pia Miller | Dolce & Gabbana | Derby Day | Melbourne

Credit: Getty Images

SPOTTED: Mia Miller

WHERE: Victoria Derby Day, Flemington Racecourse, Melbourne, Australia

WHAT SHE WORE: Sheer Dolce & Gabbana Fall 2013 black lace dress with balloon sleeves and nude slip. Styled with Dolce & Gabbana rosary cross necklace and nude pumps.

VERDICT: Dramatic and a little goth. J'adore.

Rebecca Judd | J'Aton Couture | Derby Day | Melbourne

SPOTTED: Australian model, Rebecca Judd

WHERE: Victoria Derby Day, Flemington Racecourse, Melbourne, Australia

WHAT SHE WORE: J'Aton Couture white eyelet cape dress with nude illusion lining. Styled with Christian Dior timepiece, Miu Miu clutch, Danica Erard hat and Sophia Webster sandals.

VERDICT: Perfection. Her baby bump looks divine in this confection. I love when pregnant women show off their bumps. Some dresses have looked better on me whilst being being pregnant. 

Credit: Getty Images

Mel B | Michael Costello | Victoria Derby Day | Melbourne

SPOTTED: Mel B

WHERE: Victoria Derby Day, Flemington Racecourse, Melbourne, Victoria

WHAT SHE WORE: White Michael Costello gown with black leather halter neck detail.

VERDICT: The wavy hemline is stunning and I adore the leather halter neck. So fabulous. The styling of the timepiece is unique and cool.

Getty: Getty Images

POPPY DELEVINGNE | J'aton Couture | Derby Day | Melbourne

SPOTTED: Model Poppy Delevingne

WHERE: Victoria Derby Day, Flemington Racecourse, Melbourne, Australia

WHAT SHE WORE: J'aton Couture white dress with lazer cut-outs plus three tier layer on the skirt and Dolce & Gabbana headpiece.

VERDICT: Fresh and summery. I love her freckles. 

Credit: Getty Images

NAOMI CAMPBELL | Christian Dior | Victoria Derby Day | Melbourne

SPOTTED: Naomi Campbell

WHERE: Victoria Derby Day at Flemington Racecourse, Melbourne, Australia

WHAT SHE WORE: Christian Dior Fall 2013 Houndstooth strapless column dress and hat by Philip Treacy. 

VERDICT: Naomi is another gal who knows how to dress for an event. She looks great in houndstooth and always looks killer in this silhouette. And does this woman ever age?

Credit: Getty Images

JENNIFER HAWKINS | VICTORIA DERBY DAY | FLEMINGTON PARK | MELBOURNE

SPOTTED: Australia's Next Top Model host Jennifer Hawkins

WHERE: Victoria Derby Day at Flemington Racecourse in Melbourne, Australia

WHAT SHE WORE: Toni Matičevski black leather structure cut=out dress and a zip down front and asymmetric hemline.

VERDICT: Absolutely stunning. Jen knows how to dress for every event. Modern and the architecture of the dress is amaze balls. Oh and her best accessory: Her handsome beau Jake Wall.

Credit: Getty Images

"MOVE YOUR BLOOMIN' ARSE!" NICOLE KIDMAN IN L'WREN SCOTT - DERBY DAY, FLEMINGTON PARK, MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA

WHEN I WAS LITTLE I LOVED THE 1964 FILM, 'MY FAIR LADY'. ESPECIALLY THE "MOVE YOUR BLOOMIN' ARSE" SCENE.

SO WHEN NICOLE KIDMAN LED THE FASHION FIELD AT DERBY DAY IN FLEMINGTON PARK, MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA, WITH A L'WREN SCOTT DESIGNED, AUDREY HEPBURN INSPIRED BLACK AND WHITE LACE DRESS, I WAS A LITTLE EXCITED TO SEE WHAT SHE HAD DONE.

"IT'S INSPIRED BY 'MY FAIR LADY'. IT'S ONE OF MY FAVOURITE MOVIES. WE DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING THAT WAS FUN AND A BIT DIFFERENT" SAYS NICOLE.

I HAVE TO SAY I LOVE WHAT THEY'VE DONE, BUT I HAVE ONE MAJOR CRITIQUE.

WHY DIDN'T SHE USE AN AUSTRALIAN DESIGNER. 

WE HAVE MANY SHE COULD OF USED, FOR EXAMPLE, OUR COUTURE KING, ALEX PERRY, JOSH GOOT, BEC & BRIDGE AND THE LIST GOES ON.

I MIGHT BE A LITTLE FUSSY, BUT YOU'RE IN MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA'S FASHION CAPITAL, I AM QUITE CERTAIN THERE WAS ONE SPARE AUSSIE DESIGNER THAT WOULD OF LOVED TO HAVE DRESSED YOU.

HER DERBY DAY HAT WAS DESIGNED BY BRITISH DESIGNER STEPHEN JONES.